Hump Day Humor - Questioning Grandma

If you love Small Town Romance, you're going to love this story. I posted it many years ago, but I found it still lurking in an old folder in my file cabinet.

It made me laugh out loud again so I thought I'd share it with today's audience because many of you have joined in the last 10 years and probably hae never read this.

ORIGIN OF THIS STORY / JOKE / INCIDENT

I honestly don't know if this was a joke or story someone made up. I wouldn't be surprised if it's actually a true event because I know several grandmotherly types in my hometown who would have acted exactly like this!

One of my friends who grew up with me in our small Southern town sent this to me. He and I could probably name more than a dozen women, heck, make that two or three dozen, who could be the Southern grandma at the heart of this story. But let me stop talking and format the rest of this post.

SOUTHERN GRANDMA IN COURTROOM

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. 

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. 

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" 

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

Yes, dear readers, ladies like that still inhabit small southern towns.  So, never ask one a question if you don't want an unfiltered, strictly honest answer.

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EAT DESSERT FIRST?

Happy Wednesday! Enjoy this Hump Day post. 

When I was a kid, I read one of those funny lines you see on buttons and tee shirts. It said: "Life is short. Eat dessert first."

I think that’s why so many people struggle in life—they want to eat dessert first rather than start at the beginning of the meal and enjoy each course that’s served.

Of course, I’m describing those who want to start at the top and who don’t seem to understand that no one really starts at the top—unless they’re the offspring of the company founder or a prodigy of some sort and perhaps not even then.

PAYING DUES

You know about paying due or whatever you choose to call the process of beginning, making mistakes, and learning. Some way or other, everyone pays their dues. Doctors start as interns before they become the leading doctor at a hospital. First year lawyers start out at the bottom pecking order of law firms. Electricians start out as apprentices. Writers start out as newbies trying to hack out a writing career and build an audience for their work.

Anyone who thinks he or she can jump into a high status position at a corporation or be rewarded by an ownership role in a small independent company—or become a bestselling author overnight—just doesn’t realize what the world is all about.

Whether you’re a corporate accountant, a bank teller, or a writer publishing a first book, you need to understand that success is not made overnight. Success is made by baby steps then bigger steps and sometimes leaps forward every now and then. Consistency of action leads to progress.

If you enjoy each leg of the journey, not impatiently striving to leap over steps, you’ll find more satisfaction in your career—and in life—than someone who is never satisfied and constantly longing for more, more, more.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

If Life is a seven-course dinner, then savor and enjoy the appetizers before moving on to the soup. The pleasure that comes from each “course” will keep you satisfied and inspired to experience the next stage in your career and in Life when it comes along. That's my 2¢ opinion. What do you think?

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6 Ways to Take A Break Without Killing Your Career

In this world of FOMO, it's hard to think about taking a step away from the daily grind.

We're all afraid that we'll be forgotten if we miss a day or two from social media.

Fear of missing out afflicts more than the social media addicts. As Authors, we're afraid readers will forget we exist.

So what is one to do when faced with adversity or with a daily routine that has become an exhausting daily grind? That's when the going gets really tough, and all we want to do is slam the door on our offices and escape.

Do you know that old Billy Ocean song from the late 1980's, When the Going Gets Tough? If you don't know the song, let me tell you that it's from an old cliché, and the next part of that cliché is,  The Tough get going.

Sometimes, we can power our way through tiredness, boredom, adversity, and just feeling funky.

As an author, I can tell you there are times when we’re all tired of fighting for focused time to write, fighting for good reviews, fighting for good ad space, and all the other battles we fight. 

Sure, we're Tough, but there comes a time when we need to step out of the boxing ring of life and take a breather.

This may sound crazy when all the motivational gurus constantly tell us to figure a way to have it all, work when you don’t feel like working, go for it. Sure, sometimes you must strive in the face of adversity, when you’re sick, when you’re sad, when your world is falling apart around you, but if you do that all the time, you're headed for a great big bonfire of burnout.

There's no shame in taking a break. The trick is to do that without letting it turn into something as permanent as concrete.

6 Ways to Take a Break Without Killing Your Career

1. Set limits. Write down how many days off you’re taking. If you worked a job, you’d have to tell the boss how many vacation days you wanted. You are you’re own boss so write down how many days you’ll be away from the office.

Don't let a break turn into endless days of drifting. Mark your calendar for the day you return to your career.

2. Make it real. If you plan on vacationing from work for 2 days then don’t do any work on those days. No constant checking social media or emails or any of that stuff that sucks the life out of you.

3. Figure out where you’re going when you return to work. Take some time to think about the road you’re on. Is it the right road headed in the right direction? It's easy to get overwhelmed if you're trying to get something or somewhere that isn’t realistic. Goals change. Is it time to re-evaluate your goals or maybe set different goals?

4. Check your attitude. While you’re taking a break from your work, take a break from disrespecting yourself—or anyone else. 

I’ve known writers who never had a kind word to say about others or even about themselves. They trash talk about themselves in ways they'd never talk about other people. 

All that negativity and whining takes an enormous amount of energy. Resolve to cut that crap out!!! Self-talk determines your success in life. Learn to be kind to yourself.

5. Celebrate every win. No matter how small an achievement may be, acknowledge it and celebrate it in some way. 

Set up a system of milestones and rewards. I don't mean pop a hundred dollar bottle of bubbly, but do bask in the glory of an achievement no matter how small. Success is built one baby step at a time.

6. Live your life. Be present. Live today. Don't get caught in the trap of regretting what you didn't get done yesterday or the publishing gravy train you missed because your manuscript wasn’t ready. Don't wait for your ship to come in because you may be at the train station. 

Enjoy every step of the journey and be happy—be present in your life—now.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

The time spent on the journey will always be longer than the time spent at the destination.

Learn to enjoy the journey and take a break when you need to recharge your batteries.

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8 MORE UNIVERSAL LAWS OF LIFE

Welcome back! Last week, I started a list of 8 UNIVERSAL LAWS OF LIFE. Go ahead and click on the link to read the first 8 "laws" I found.

During the last week, I found a few more of these amusing "laws" to tickle your funny bone. 

If you're having a bad week, I hope this bit of humor will improve your spirits. If you're having a good week, then this will make it even better. Enjoy!

9. Coffee Law

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

10. Law of Physical Surfaces

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

11. Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

12. Brandolini's Law

The amount of energy needed to refute nonsense is an order of magnitude larger than is needed to produce it.

13. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance

If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

14. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

15. Hanlong's Law

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

16. Typography Law

If you write an article critiquing editing or proofreading, there is guaranteed to be a glaring typo in your own work.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

If you know any of these funny so-called laws, leave a comment with the law so we can all enjoy it.

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8 UNIVERSAL LAWS OF LIFE

Has it been a rough week so far? Feeling a little crazy?

Relax, today is Hump Day. That's right, scream with delight and read the funny stuff below. That will help you get to tomorrow.

LAUGHTER REQUIRED FOR LIFE

As an author of Romantic Comedy, I'm here to say that everyone needs to laugh more. Maybe all the discord and anger we see all around us would subside if everyone just laughed—or at least smiled instead of acting as cranky as teething babies.

I'll help you get started. I searched through my archive of funny things and found these Universal Laws of Life. 

I don't know who first uttered these witty words or when. I'd love to give them attribution for this list, but these funny words seem to have been floating around the Internet for the last 3 decades.

16 UNIVERSAL LAWS OF LIFE

1. Law of Mechanical Repair

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. And you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Close Encounters

The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

3. Law of Probability

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Gravity

Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

5. Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are  now in.

6. Law of the Result

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

7. Finagle's Law

Anything that can go wrong, will—at the absolute worst possible moment.

8. Law of Biomechanics

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

I hope that helped. If not, have a glass of wine when you get home and plan some fun for the weekend ahead. Oh, you can also read a funny book like one of mine from the Love, Laughter, and Shenaningans RomCom series. Just saying....

HOT AUGUST NIGHT, a Last Chance Beach RomCom

😎😎😎

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PROGRESS IN SPITE OF DISTRACTIONS

Hurray! I made it to Wednesday. Yesterday was challenging, but then, many days are.

I am dismayed that I haven't finished my book yet, but every time I seat myself in front of the computer, some guy knocks on the back door and says, "Can you go to Home Depot (Lowes, True Value, or Ace Hardware) and get this bolt and nut, this gauge wire, another roll of insulation, another gallon of Kilz, etc.

Seriously, guys putting up a building need a woman on the crew to whip them into shape.

But, I digress... I'm here to help you regain focus and make progress in the face of distrations. although this applies to writing, these steps can be adjusted to whatever your particular project is. Just change the text to fit your situation.

GOING FORWARD WITH SO MANY DISTRACTIONS 

When I get to the point where I can't maintain the narrative long enough to put sentences down, I take a step back. This is hard to do when I already feel the pressure to get this book out there, but it's necessary.

Even thought I wrote my first few novels with 4 kids running through the house—shouting, screaming at each other, wanting lunch, snacks, parental face time, etc.—that is no longer the norm. 

The kids are grown, and I've become accustomed to a quieter, more peaceful environment.

Yet, I remember what I did back then when distractions and interruptions were the pattern of a summer day. 

6 WAYS TO WRITE WITHOUT ACTUALLY WRITING

(1) When you write every day, it's easy to keep the scope of the book in your head. When you're not writing every day, the project can go stale, and you may lose your enthusiasm for it. 

That's not good so set aside at least 2 blocks of time—maybe 15 minutes or longer—to think about the project from beginning to end. Focus on what made you want to write the book. Experience the emotions associated with your premise, with the chracters you've created. 

No one writes a book unless there is something about the idea and the characters that touches you deep inside. Mine those emotions until you literally can't NOT write.

(2) Use your imagination to figure out how you'll market the book when you publish it. Imagine the graphics you'll use, the teaser text to hook readers. In other words, be thinking about your book and the end result—a published book. 

(3) Keep a notebook and pen near by if you can't steal an uninterrupted half hour away from whatever is going on in your life so you can make notes that may pop into your head about the book, the setting, scenes that may be needed, snippets of dialogue you hear in your head when you think about the characters. 

(4) Is there any information you need about the background, setting, or characters? Make a metal list about that until you can write it in your notebook.

(5) When you can get to your computer, warm up your engines by using the notes you made to quickly find the information. Be sure to notate the websites or resources you used.

(6) Adopt the habit of writing an affirmation 10 times in the morning and 10 times in the evening that focuses on your writing and/or the work in progress itself.

After a few days, you may find yourself thinking and saying your affirmations when you have to be away from your computer.

Here are a few examples:

• "Writing is easy and fun for me."
• "Writing makes me happy."
• "This book I'm writing is awesome." 

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

You may realize that each of these tips are designed to build and maintain enthusiasm for your book in progress so you'll look forward to writing rather than losing interest and wondering why you thought it was a good idea in the first place. Hang in there! Good luck.

Need a little vacation? Read DECEPTIVELY YOURS, a book that will sweep you away to the beach, and it's now on sale for 99¢!

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Peace, Quiet, Soul Nourishment

Do I have any profound thoughts to share today? Not really. 

The next couple of weeks are vacation weeks for us.

We went to Louisiana for a few days for my annual summer siblings reunion.

My older brother lives on a farm in Louisiana so Darling Hubby and I drove to his home. My younger brother and his wife drove from Colorado with their RV in tow.

It's great to get together with them plus my nephews and their kids.

Mornings at the farm are glorious. No traffic noise. No sounds except for the birds singing in the the giant magnolia tree and in the elms and oaks and the rustle of foliage as the morning breeze brushes across the the soybeans and corn planted in the fields. Clouds obscure the sun, and a little mist hovers above the crops. The air is clean and pure.

The peace and quiet is stunning. Wonderful.  

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

It nourishes my soul.

Be Wary of Touchy Feely AI People

I watched an interesting video today that explains why there are so many "old people" videos on YouTube.

The creator of the video said up front that she was posting it to illustrate not only how easy it is to create videos but also to put you on notice not to believe what you see.

The Creepy Truth About AI and "Old People" is the video I'm talking about. I must say I didn't realize it was that easy to create an attractive video in a couple of minutes.

YouTube is supposed to flag videos that are AI-created, but there must be ways around that. I think YouTube outght to require an icon or image that plainly says AI, and it should be visible on the video all the way through.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

Watch the video and tell me what you think about this subject.

Wednesday Wise Words - Time

Today's quote is by Harvey Mackay, an American businessman, author, and syndicated columnist with Universal Uclick for which he gives career and inspirational advice.

You've probably heard or read his most famous book, How to Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive.

One of the secrets of success is learning how to use your allotted time each day rather than frittering it away on unimportantmportant tasks.

Mr. Mackay is 94 now so he definitely knows the importance of using time effectively. Here's what he said.

"Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it, you can never get it back."

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

Like money, time is something you can't take with you when you die. When you're living, time is more important than money because yo can always make more money, but you can't make more time.

Romance Gems...Where Authors and Readers Meet 

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CYBER SECURITY TIP

In this world where Artificial Intelligence is capturing more and more of our time and attention, we are faced with puzzling questions and frightening scenarios.

How do we protect our family in a world where privacy seems to be declining?

FAMILY PASSWORD

This is something we've had in our family for a couple of decades. Create a secret password that each member of your family can remember.

If that password is ever used in what seems like ordinary conversation, it means: "I'm in trouble. Call 911. Send help."

If you receive a late night phone call from one of your kids: "Help. I've been arrested. Wire $5000.00 for an attorney to SOME WEBSITE." If the call is really from one of your kids, he would say the password to verify it's really your child.

WHY IS ALL THIS IMPORTANT?

Because we live in a world where people put their real birthdates and private information on social media. They have their phones set so they can take calls from social media followers. 

They post pictures and videos of spouses, siblings, children, and grandchildren. They log their daily movements and restaurants they frequent, vacations they take, and so much more.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

All of the above is fodder for scammers and crooks who can take those images and information and use Artificial Intellience to take advantage of you.

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Deciphering Online Typograpy Characters

Here's a quick tip to help you identify the difference between a lower case L and the number 1 when seen online.

To many people, those two look the same. Example, I'm typing l and 1—which was which? In this blog window what I typed looks identical.

In actuality, the first character I typed was the lower case L (l) and the second one I typed was the number 1— side by side, lower case L and number 1—l1l1l1.

It all depends on the font. In the compose font on my blog interface, they both look the same, but when you read this, the font will show a difference between the two with the lower case L being a straight line and the number 1 having a little slanted line at the top.

On Google apps, the lower case L has straight line at the top and the number 1 has a slanted line at top.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

Hope this keeps you from making mistakes with passwords and other important information.

Old Books Are Old Friends

Some Hump Day Thoughts.

The other day I saw a Facebook post about Shanna, a historical romance novel by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss, the housewife who started the romance revolution with the 1972 publication of her first novel, The Flame and The Flower.

That first book sold over 2.3 million copies in the first 4 years of publication. It's still selling. I don't know if her genre-busting early books have ever been out of print.

(I'll confess that I didn't care much for the book which is the Forced Marriage trope, a polite way of saying sexual assault.)

As soon as I closed Facebook, I went to the armoire in my office and pulled my copy of Shanna from the shelf of paperback books in there. Yes, it was on my keeper shelf along with several other vintage novels.

When Shanna was published, it sold over 3 million copies and remained on the New York Times bestseller list for a full year.

I remember the first time I read this book probably a decade or more after it was published in 1977. It was filled with lush  descriptions of characters, setting, and the sexuality and passion of the characters. 

We're talking thrusting loins and heaving bosoms and bodice ripping—by the villain, never by the hero in Woodiwiss's novels.

I started reading it again. Yes, it's dated, and I had to smile at the flowery analogies used far too often. However, it's still a page turner.

Eventually, over the years before I was published, I read all of Ms. Woodiwiss's early books. Life and writing got in the way, and I became enmeshed in the contemporary romance world so I never got to her later books. I plan to correct that oversight this year.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

A keeper shelf is a place of delight and comfort. Reading an old book is like visiting with an old friend.

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Time's A-Wasting: Live Your Dream

Today, for Hump Day, I'm reflecting on recent events and on something that happened many years ago.

In the wake of wildfires, blizzards, senseless shootings, and other life tragedies, I think of a spring day many yeras ago when tornadoes cut a swath through the South.

My mother was afraid of storms and especially fearful when spring seemed to bring the worst of them. I remember trying to soothe her anxiety.

Later, I told my husband about this, and I quipped, "If it's your time to go, then there's not much you can do about it."

He said, "It may not be your time, but if you're hanging out with someone whose number is up then you're just screwed, and you'll go too."

For some reason, that whole incident really made me think. You never know when your number is up. I'm sure all those people killed in natural disasters and senseless violence thought they had plenty of time to do all the things they wanted to do.

Just like me, they probably had plans and dreams about what they wanted to do with their lives.  Maybe they talked about it, thought about it, dreamed about it, but hadn't yet done anything about it. They thought they had plenty of time.

I was like that. Big dreams. I talked about it, dreamed about it, but I hadn't really done much to turn a dream into reality. 

What if, without warning, my time was up? A storm could hit the 50 foot pine tree in my neighbor's yard. If it fell on my house, and I was in my house, I'd be a goner. Boom. Just like that.

That day, I decided I didn't want to be cowering in a hallway while a tornado roared overhead and thinking: "If only I'd had the courage to write."

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

American Journalist Sydney J. Harris once said: "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."

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My Biggest Complaint About Videos

No humor or inspiration today on Hump Day. I'm a little POd and feel like sounding off. Not about you, dear SlingWords readers and visitors.

My complaint is with YouTubers who aren't serving their audiences.

HERE WE GO

There is a lot of educational content on YouTube. In fact, you can learn how to do just about anything from replacing a hard drive in a computer to cleaning the foggy headlamp covers on a car.

Awesome, right?

What isn't awesome is that too many YouTubers are editing the sound on their videos—removing natural pauses in the video so everything becomes one continuous stream of dialogue with no breaks whatsoever.

Not only is that unnatural, it makes it difficult for the viewer to actually absorb the information being given.

Today, I watched a woman YouTuber describing how she bought an old computer including where she purchased it and what it contained.

Without so much as a nano break between those topics, she went into into the process of removing Windows from the computer and downloading Linux—in exquisite detail.

From what I grasped, it sounded easy enough that I could probably do it EXCEPT she did the entire presentaton at warp speed with not even a breath of a break in the avalanche of words coming out of her mouth.

This is typical of too many videos now. If it's information I want, I have to go back to the beginning, slow the speed to 75% of normal, get a notepad to take notes, and still have to stop and rewind many times to capture this detailed tech information.

Now, she claims her audience is composed of "normal" people, not tech experts. 

Lady—and other YouTubers who may read this—you are NOT serving your respective audiences.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

Blog Readers, if you also hate this rushing river of dialogue, please leave a comment. I'd like to gather some stats on this.

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Playing Around With Video

I should be writing, but I'm kind of stalled because I need the cover for my next book.

 I just haven't decided what that cover should look like. Yet.

So, I've been playing around with video the last few days—creating short videos to post on each of my book pages on Amazon.

I've got a few of them done but only one that I've posted. It's on the Amazon page for SCENTS AND SENSUALITY. Take a look if you have a moment and tell me what you think.

These videos are only 10-15 seconds long and they're not vertical like on TikTok or Facebook Reels. I plan to post a couple more today because it takes a day or two for Amazon to approve them. 

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

Today, I'll get the cover concept nailed down and leap over that hump because it is Hump Day. Right?

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10 Best "She Done Me Wrong" Songs

A few weeks ago on Hump Day, I posted a list of the Top 10 "He Done Me Wrong" Songs. Of course, ask me another day, and I might put different songs on that list. *g*

It's only fitting that I give you guys equal time. So today, here is my list with the embedded links going to a YouTube performance for each song for the...

10 Best "She Done Me Wrong" Songs

10. I've been thinking about my Dad lately so I'll start with one of his favorite songs by one of his favorite singers, Hank Williams—senior not  junior. Your Cheatin' Heart has been covered by many singers over the years, but the most mournful recording has to be Hank Senior's.

9. The southern rock classic, Can't You See by The Marshall Tucker Band.

8. Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town, a song about betrayal by Kenny Rogers.

7. Stop Dragging My Heart Around, a great rock song duet by Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks.

8. Here's a Quarter, a darkly amusing country song about betrayal, by Travis Tritt.

7. Sundown by the fabulous Canadian singer-songwriter Gordon Lightfoot.

6. With You, a mounful anthem by Dean Lewis.

5. When I Was Your Man, a mounful song of loss and regret by Bruno Mars.

4. Crying, a rock and roll song from long ago that's filled with raw emotion, by the late great Roy Orbison.

3. I Can't Make You Love Me by the fabulous Josh Groban.

2. In the Air, the haunting lyrics sung by Phil Collins (who also plays the best drum solo ever) based on his former wife's betrayal.

1. Wicked Game, the heart throbbing ballad by the amazing Chris Isaak.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

I hope you enjoyed this list that's strictly from my own favorites. What are your favorites? Post in comments so all will know.

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A Hump Day Tale - The God of Frolic

Henry Ward Beecher said: "The dog was created specially for children. He is a god of frolic."

Freddie, seen at left in a picture my daughter made, fits that description to a T.

He stayed with us while our daughter and her hubby went to Germany for Christmas. One day my Darling Hubby baked a frozen deep dish pizza for lunch.

He placed it on a round serving board on the kitchen island and cut it into slices. I had a slice. He had two. I went back to my office, knowing he would handle the leftovers.

When I returned to the kitchen, the pizza was gone so I figured he had stored the leftover pizza in the fridge.

At lunch time the next day, I suggested we warm the pizza left from the day before. He frowned. "There was no pizza left yesterday."

I frowned too. "You mean you ate all of that?"

"No, I had only 2 pieces."

My frown changed to surprise. "I had only 1 piece." Our eyes met. Then we looked down at Freddie who was standing next to me. (If we're in the kitchen, he's always right there with us. The kitchen is his favorite room in our house, and in his own home too. Now I know why."

If a dog could have a guilty expression, Freddie had one. Slowly and silently, he left the kitchen, slinking away to his bed in front of the fireplace in the living room. We followed him. I said his name. He wouldn't look at me. I mean he literally turned his head away every time I tried to make eye contact.

We could only laugh. I swear he knew what we were talking about, and he knew he'd done something wrong. Fortunately, it didn't make him sick.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

So, yeah. Freedie is our god of frolic because even when he does something he shouldn't, we can't help but laugh.

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