8 MORE UNIVERSAL LAWS OF LIFE

Welcome back! Last week, I started a list of 8 UNIVERSAL LAWS OF LIFE. Go ahead and click on the link to read the first 8 "laws" I found.

During the last week, I found a few more of these amusing "laws" to tickle your funny bone. 

If you're having a bad week, I hope this bit of humor will improve your spirits. If you're having a good week, then this will make it even better. Enjoy!

9. Coffee Law

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

10. Law of Physical Surfaces

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

11. Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

12. Brandolini's Law

The amount of energy needed to refute nonsense is an order of magnitude larger than is needed to produce it.

13. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance

If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

14. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

15. Hanlong's Law

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

16. Typography Law

If you write an article critiquing editing or proofreading, there is guaranteed to be a glaring typo in your own work.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

If you know any of these funny so-called laws, leave a comment with the law so we can all enjoy it.

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Review - The Old Way - Prime

If you're a fan of westerns set in the Old West, you may like THE OLD WAY, a flick starring Nicolas Cage that's streaming free for subscribers on Prime, Hulu, Disney, and Roku.

It can be rented on YouTube, Apple, Fandango, and Google Play.

QUICK BLURB

The Old Way, a 2023 American Western film directed by Brett Donowho, from a screenplay by Carl W. Lucas, is a revenge movie starring Nicolas Cage as Colton Briggs, a retired gunman intent on hunting down the outlaws who killed his wife.

Seemingly amoral and with no conscience, Briggs cared only for his wife. Beyond that, he relates to no one, but his young knows how to get him to allow her to accompany him as he tracks down the killers.

The story is as much about Briggs's odd personality as it is about his quest for revenge. As the two journey together, Briggs is as dependent on his daughter as she is on him.

The Old Way was theatrically released by Saban Films on January 6, 2023, and received mixed reviews by critics. I seem viewers will also have mixed reviews about it because it's definitely not a traditional view of a leading character in a western.

I think it was obviously aimed at the video market from the get-go because Cage, although an excellent actor, can't pull in an audience for a theatrical release. Marketing departments know this as do the producers so you won't get the production values of a top movie release. Still, it's better than many other movies circulating on the streaming platforms.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

Like westerns and want to watch one? I found this one had a few surprises.

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Saturday Share Recipe - Southern Corn Cakes

Good morning! Today, I have a very old recipe to share. It uses AP flour with the addition of baking powder and salt.

If you want to use self-rising flour and self-rising cornmeal, both of which have baking powder and salt added, remember not to add the baking powder and salt in the recipe which is added for AP flour and plain meal.

These corn cakes were what people cooked and ate a couple of hundred years ago when cornmeal was more plentiful than wheat flour.

Wheat generally requires colder climates than the  warm South. Even though wheat was grown in North Texas, corn was the most stable food crop grown throughout the South.

The reason is practical and easy. Corn could be eaten fresh or canned. It could be dried and ground into cornmeal. grits, or corn flour. On a very limited basis, it was sometimes fed to cattle and pigs, but it was predominantly a human food source.

Corn Cakes can be eaten like pancakes with warm maple syrup, or as a * bread, much like cornbread, to accompany a savory entree. So let's make some!

SOUTHERN CORN CAKES

Ingredients

• 1 cup AP flour
• 2 cups plain cornmeal, yellow or white
• 1 1/2 cups boiling water
• 1 3/4 cup milk
• 4 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 3 tablespoons fat (Neutral cooking oil for a pancake like result or EVOO or traditionally, bacon drippings or lard, for a savory result.)
• 2 eggs, beaten

Presto Electric Griddle

A WORD ABOUT GRIDDLES

I have a stovetop griddle that came with my gas range. It fits over the large oval burner in the middle, but I seldom use it.

Why, you may ask? Because my electric griddle works better at maintaining a consistent temperature. My electric griddle is several years old, but it's a Presto and is like the one shown here that's sold on Amazon. The one shown has more than 31K reviews averaging 4.7 stars.

Now, on with the recipe.

Directions

1. Grease the griddle to be used to cook the corn cakes before you begin mixing the batter.
2. In a bowl, mix the flour, 1 cup of the cornmeal, baking powder, and salt in a bowl.
3. In a separate, large bowl, place the other cup of cornmeal and carefully pour the boiling water over the meal. Whisk carefully to combine.
4. Add the cold milk and blend.
5. Now, slowly whisk in the beaten eggs to the mixture, combining each small addition so the eggs don't scramblle.
6. When finished adding the eggs, slowly add the dry ingredients from the first step, blending well.
7. Finally, add the 3 tablespoons of fat and mix well.
8. Heat the griddle. When hot, pour the batter onto the hot griddle. The amount used should make a cake about 4 inches in diameter.
9. Like pancakes, avoid flipping these over until the first side is done. How to tell it's done? The cake should puff up and visibly steam. You should see little bubbles on the top forming as the steam escapes. If in doubt, gently life a corner of the cake to see if it's browned on the griddle side. If it is, flip it and let the second side cook until brown.
10. Serve hot.

* SAVORY CORN CAKES

These are delicious made as is and served as an accompaniment to Chili, Stews, Charro Beans, or similar dishes.

To kick them up another notch, add a couple of tablespoons of any or all of the following: diced onion, diced green chiles, and/or whole kernels of corn to the batter.

To turn them into a heartier dish, double the amount of the add-on ingrdients, and you can cut them in triangles and serve with a picante dipping sauce. 

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

My Dad loved corn cakes. He preferred them over pancakes. If you make them, let me know what you think about them.

  

Joan participates in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, affiliate advertising designed to help websites earn advertising fees by linking to products on Amazon. If you click an Amazon link in her post, she may receive a small commision at no extra cost to you.

I love to cook, and I love to write Romance Novels about a woman and a man who are made for each other! Sign up today for I LOVE READING, my free Newsletter and receive exclusive content, news about book bargains, and new release notices.

Friday Freaky Facts

I love trivia and often save bits and pieces of weird information. I mean, you may never know when the opportunity presents itself to drop a tidbit into a conversation.

For example, you're at a cocktail party and talking with a bunch of women and men about mundane chores around the house.

Isn't that the time to say, "I too hate vacuuming the carpet and have often wished British engineer Hubert Cecil Booth, who is widely credited with inventing the first motorized, suction-based vacuum cleaner in 1901, had chosen to invent something else."

Now that's a stunner that will make everyone's jaw drop. Right?

With that thought in mind, allow me to share a few equally tasty tidbits of trivia because History is full of quirky little facts. How unfortunate that too many people think History is a bore. It's not. History is the adventurous exploits of the famous and infamous.

Here are a few things I've learned as I research various subjects. Enjoy!

In  1439, Kissing was officially banned in England in an effort to stop disease from spreading. (I imagine the country became a nation of lawbreakers.)

In 1912, a Paris orphanage held a raffle to raise money and gave away live babies as prizes!

John F. Kennedy, Anthony Burgess, Aldous Huxley, and C.S. Lewis all died on the same day.

Once upon a time, Karl Marx was a correspondent for the New York Daily Tribune.

Ronald Reagan was a lifeguard during high school and saved 77 people from drowning.

In 1487 in the Aztec dedication of the temple at Tenochtitlan, 20,000 people were sacrificed.

Romans used human urine as mouthwash.

A 19th century popular medicine for kids was Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup which had morphine as an ingredient.

In early Rome, a father could legally kill anyone in his family.

Attila the Hun bled to death from a nosebleed on his wedding night.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

There is no known civilization that did not tax. Even the very first known civilization, the Sumerians, recorded their tax history on clay cones.

In colonial America, pregnant women were not given anything to relieve the pain of childbirth because pain was considered God’s punishment for Eve’s eating the forbidden fruit. (That had to be the Puritans.)

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

Next time your kid bemoans history, throw a few fun facts at them. Maybe it will interest them in the underlying drama that is history.

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8 UNIVERSAL LAWS OF LIFE

Has it been a rough week so far? Feeling a little crazy?

Relax, today is Hump Day. That's right, scream with delight and read the funny stuff below. That will help you get to tomorrow.

LAUGHTER REQUIRED FOR LIFE

As an author of Romantic Comedy, I'm here to say that everyone needs to laugh more. Maybe all the discord and anger we see all around us would subside if everyone just laughed—or at least smiled instead of acting as cranky as teething babies.

I'll help you get started. I searched through my archive of funny things and found these Universal Laws of Life. 

I don't know who first uttered these witty words or when. I'd love to give them attribution for this list, but these funny words seem to have been floating around the Internet for the last 3 decades.

16 UNIVERSAL LAWS OF LIFE

1. Law of Mechanical Repair

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. And you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Close Encounters

The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

3. Law of Probability

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Gravity

Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

5. Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are  now in.

6. Law of the Result

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

7. Finagle's Law

Anything that can go wrong, will—at the absolute worst possible moment.

8. Law of Biomechanics

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

I hope that helped. If not, have a glass of wine when you get home and plan some fun for the weekend ahead. Oh, you can also read a funny book like one of mine from the Love, Laughter, and Shenaningans RomCom series. Just saying....

HOT AUGUST NIGHT, a Last Chance Beach RomCom

😎😎😎

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Review - Miss You, Love You on HBO Max

Today's movie is an American drama which has probably been called a small film—definitely not a blockbuster—but it has a big message that may hit home to many.

It's not a comfortable, feel good movie, but one that will make you think. You may find yourself wondering if you communicate the way this mother and her son do. If so, you'll be doing some soul searching as to why that situation exists in your relationships.

I don't know that I can say I liked the movie, but I definitely liked the performances by the remarkable Allison Janney as Diane Patterson and Andrew Rannells as Jamie Simms.

Accompanying those 2 lead actors are Bonnie Hunt (love her!) as Judith Bibbs, Oscar Nunez as the Minister, Lisa Schurga as Nance, and Suzy Nakamura as Kathy.

Released in May of this year and screened at Sundance, the movie was picked up by HBO Max for distribtuion. If you have access to HBO Max, I definitely recommend this film which was directed by Jim Rash from a screenplay he wrote. 

In case you're a film buff interested in the details, it was produced by Kevin Walsh, Nat Faxon, Gigi Pritzker, and Rachel Shane.

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

A grieving widow is forced to plan her husband's funeral with her estranged son's assistant.

One sentence that is like the tip of an iceberg, hiding turbulent emotions and painful histories. 

At first you'll hate Janney's character, but in the end, you'll understand her and Jamie (played by Runnells) and be comforted by the connection they make that is real and honest, unlike her relationship with her son who communicates by texting.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

A beautifully acted, heartbreakingly painful movie about relationships gone wrong and the acceptance that can come from acknowledging the truth.

Summer sale, 99¢, Deceptively Yours, a second chance romance with a perfect hero.

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Saturday Share Recipe - Summer Punch

Summer is when outdoor parties reign supreme. Having something icy cold and easy to serve and drink for all ages means making a punch packed full of tasty ingredients.

This SUMMER PUNCH meets all those requirements, and it's easy to make and easy to store which means you can always have it saved in the fridge.

Ingredients

• 1 6-ounce can frozen pineapple juice
• 1 6-ounce can orange juice
• 1 6-ounce can frozen berry & fruit blend juice
• 1 2-liter bottle of ginger ale
• Orange chunks, fresh berries, fresh mint leaves to garnish

Directions

1. Combine juices in a large pitcher and stir to blend well.

2. Cover and chill in the fridge overnight.

3. If you plan to serve from a punch bowl, pour the chilled mixture into the bowl and add the ginger ale, pouring slowly to preserve the fizz..

4. If you're serving from the pitcher, add the ginger ale as described in the previous step.

5. Ganish with the fresh fruit.

By the way, almost any fruit juice and fresh fruit works for this recipe.

If you have any leftover, simply store in a covered container in the fridge. It may go a little flat, but it will still taste good.

PUNCH BOWL TIP

Here's an easy way to keep the punch, whether in a pitcher or a punch bowl, icy cold.

Freeze a mixture of fruit juice in a bowl or a ring mold if you have one. Place the frozen juice into the punch bowl to keep the mixture icy cold. That won't dilute the flavor of the punch the way ice cubes will.

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

There's something about a punch bowl that just says party. 

Staying inside where it's cool? Read a RomCom that will make you smile.

JANE (I'm Still Single) JONES on sale for 99¢.

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