Universal Laws

How about some humor to start over-the-hump day? My friend Frank in Albuquerque sent me these. I don't know who first uttered these or when. (If you can prove ownership, email me and I'll add your name as creator.)

Universal Laws
by Unknown

1. Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Accessibility
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act

4. Law of Variation
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

5. Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

6. Law of Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

7. Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

8. Law of Coffee
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

9. Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

10. Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

11. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

12. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Takeaway Truth

Reeves Law of Writing – If a writer is trying to think of the perfect phrase or plot element, it will pop into her head after she is in bed and falling asleep – seldom to be remembered when she awakes the next morning.