Aging Isn't For Sissies

This weekend we had a guest at Rancho Reeves, the sobriquet with which we've christened our hill country hideout. He was telling us about an upcoming trip to Florida he and his wife have planned for next week. He said they planned to stop at a restaurant that was so good the wait line always takes an hour or more regardless of the time of day or night you arrive there.

Privately, I thought that there's no restaurant I can think of for which I will willingly stand in line more than 15 minutes, much less an hour or more.

When I came home, I found these jokes about old codgers in my Inbox. Hmmm. According to the joke, I'm old since I won't stand in line to dine. And I always thought I was just too hungry to waste time in a line.

For your Monday Musing pleasure, Getting Older.

1. (Made me laugh.) An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it? "

"Don't be nervous, son. Do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."

2. (I've never lied about my age, but my mom always did.) Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

3. (Ah, yes. This is true for me. Life is too short to waste it in queue.) The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

4. (Not only were they unpaved, they were filled with potholes and an occasional sinkhole.) Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know "why" I look this way. I' ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

5. (Shudder. Also geometry, physics, chemistry, calculus, etc. See a trend?) Doesn't about When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra..

6. (What complete and utter crap!) One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

7. (Why can't I be beautiful and comfortable?) Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

9. (Always could remember names better than faces which I chalk up to poor vision. Still that way.) First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

Takeaway Truth

Aging isn't for sissies. Bette Davis said that or words to that effect. I forget. Must be an aging memory problem.

Doing Nothing

Quote for the Week

Sometimes, it's good to have a day in which one days nothing. Nada.

Doing nothing has been the subject of interest for centuries. Go back several centuries to Pliny the Younger who said: "That indolent but agreeable condition of doing nothing."

Move forward to one of my favorite movies Office Space. The oddball hero Peter says in the beginning that he wants a day when he does absolutely nothing. After he has had such a day, he tells his friends: "I did nothing, and it was everything I thought it would be."

Have you had the luxury of a day in which you had no demands on your time and energy? If not, maybe you should plan such a day.

Takeaway Truth

Try doing nothing today. Bet it makes you feel relaxed and unwinds the stress.

Help For Authors

If you haven't visited WhoMovedMyBuyButton, a website started by Authors Guild, do yourself a favor and drop by. The website is the direct result of multiple author complaints about Amazon's exercise of the nuclear option they exercise to remove the Add To Cart buttons from displays of books by publishers who have "offended" Amazon in some contractual dispute.

When you visit the site, you'll learn about the history of the conflict with Amazon. You'll also gain the tools needed to allow you to track the status of your books on Amazon.

Takeaway Truth

Authors need all the help they can get.

EZ Facebook Settings

A lot of people are anxious over the Facebook security issues. In fact, I've heard several authors say they were just going to back away from the social network sites and reclaim the time they lose to this huge timesuck.

I'm a minimalist when it comes to Facebook, Twitter, et al. However, I try to keep up with the security issues even though I don't have a big social networking presence. I run Sunbelt Security's Vipre on my laptop and found a great app they mentioned in connection with Facebook privacy settings.

This App scans your Facebook Privacy Settings. It's from ReclaimPrivacy.org. the software will scan your settings and flag potential problems and can reset them.

Try it. I did. It's user friendly and only takes a few minutes.

Takeaway Truth

Privacy is quickly eroding. Do all you can to protect yours.

America's Got Talent?

Well, I don't know if America's Got Talent, but I do know they have a boatload of people with inflated opinions of their talent. I'm probably coming late to this party because I just tuned in last night to the above mentioned reality show.

You may have seen this American Idol clone that features individuals and groups auditioning for a Vegas entertainment contract and all the hoopla that goes with that. Apparently, there are no restrictions of age or anything else to limit the contestants on this show.

The Cast

I guess you could call the judges and the host of the show the cast. The Ryan Seacrest wannabe is Nick Cannon of the movie Drumline. Judges are Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne, and Howie Mandel.

The Contestants

I watched 30 minutes of the show and saw contestants who had been found in the Texas round of auditions. These included an 18 year old boy from Alexandria, Louisiana, who had a fantastic voice. He sang and played the guitar, and he was good. Unfortunately, I didn't catch his name, but I did hear the name of the dog act made up of 9 rescue dogs that appeared next. The Mutley Crew was great, but, then, I'm partial to dogs.

Unfortunately, a scantily clad overweight woman who did an original burlesque dance, a band director who played turkey basters as musical instruments, an inferior magician, and a woman twirling flaming sabers followed.

Of all of those, the boy singer, the dog act, and the saber twirling woman got passed on to Vegas.

Takeaway Truth

Entertainment is like beauty; it's in the eye of the beholder.

Danielle Steele On Reviews

I've been looking for this quote for a while so I could see the exact wording. Finally, I located it.

For your pleasure this morning, here's what Danielle Steele had to say about reviews. There is much truth in the following statement so you might want to stitch it on a sampler and hang it above your computer.

"A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it."

I was thinking about this when I read a book recently by someone who is one of my favorite authors. The book just fell flat.

Takeaway Truth

No one sets out to write a bad book. Somehow, sometimes, the elements just don't come together.

Get The Scoop

I'm of the opinion that there's no such thing as too much information when it comes to the pursuit of internet success. Success is built much like a website is built, that is, from the ground up, with your choice of webhost being the foundation. Therefore, you need the latest in web hosting news. TMI just isn't applicable when it comes to issues that affect your overhead and your ability to maintain an appealing, non-crashing website.

Not Your Father's Internet

In 20 years, we've gone from a culture where the Internet was an oddity for most people to a culture where just about everyone with a computer has a website of some sort. Gone are the simplistic websites hosted by an ISP from a tiny bit of bandwidth to dazzling sites that gobble bandwidth and entice visitors with lots of bells and whistles. Hosting is big business and is of paramount importance to the educated website owner.

For Your Consideration

Sure, WebHostingFan.com gives you the latest news from the web hosting industry, but they have more than that to offer. They'll report and interpret the latest trends along with reviewing the best of the web hosting providers.

This is of primary interest to you because, like me, you probably pay a fee every year to the company that hosts your site. You need to know the different kinds of hosting options. For instance, do you know why multiple domain hosting isn't necessarily a good idea? I do. I read about it on WebHostingFan as well as an article on determining whether your web host is search engine friendly.

Takeaway Truth

Do yourself a favor and learn the basics so you'll know what you need and what it should cost.