Paying Income Tax

I did my taxes this past weekend. Would you like to commiserate with me?

Rob Knauerhase said: "Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of May Day!?"

I don't think I've ever known anyone who rejoiced at paying taxes, but if you think about it, maybe we should. After all, it means we are employed and earn a salary.

To Celebrate That I Finished This Task

This year, I finished the tax forms before the day they were due. Hooray for me! Rather than gripe about this annual necessity, I'd rather laugh so here are 12 funny quotations that show taxpayers all have one thing in common regardless of political party affiliation or any of those other demographics: hatred of income tax and those complicated forms, schedules, and instructions.

Funny Income Tax Quotes

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax." ~ Albert Einstein, Genius

"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government." ~ Barry Goldwater, former Senator and Presidential Candidate

"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss." ~ Robert A. Heinlein, Author of Science Fiction

"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has." ~ Will Rogers, American Humorist

"Look at it this way: If you don’t spend your dollars on the IRS, you’d probably just squander it on foolish things, like food, rent." ~ Cindy Adams, NY Post Journalist

"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin." ~ Mark Twain, American Author

"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money." ~ Arthur Godfrey, Radio and Television Humorist

"There’s nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won’t cure." ~ Dan Bennett, Comedian

"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages." ~ H. L. Mencken, Author and Curmudgeon

"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk, Author

"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets." ~ Will Rogers, American Humorist

And, last, but not least, let's hear from an IRS professional who was quoted as saying: "The trick is to stop thinking of it as your money." ~ Unknown IRS Auditor

Laugh, Don't Groan

Once you have your taxes filed, escape from the tedious world of reality. May I suggest my romantic comedy APRIL FOOL BRIDE?

Oil heiress Madeline Quinn needs a husband by the time she turns 25 in order to claim her full inheritance. Mad Maddie, as the tabloids christened her, learned the hard way that men only see dollar signs when they look at her.

She decides a marriage of convenience is the answer and turns to the one man in the world she trusts, her housekeeper’s son who always treated her like a little sister--to her dismay--when they were kids growing up together.

Jake Becker hasn’t seen Maddie since the night she tried to seduce him. Why should he help the woman who changed the course of his life? Simple. Revenge.

Or is it something else? Something hot and smouldering that will not be denied?


Takeaway Truth

Be a good citizen. File and pay your income tax. Then have some fun reading.


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