Today is a slow news day here at Sling Words. Actually, my back hurts a little too much to sit in front of the computer today--if you read the previous entry "Deconstructing My Office," you know why. So I'm going to take the Alpha Smart to DH's recliner so I can meet my page quota today on the WIP.
In lieu of an insightful riveting article for your edification and entertainment, I think I'll just do what some of my favorite bloggers do and give a list of something.
What to list? When I was working in the garden the other day, my husband made a ribald comment about a certain part of my anatomy that was plainly visible as I bent over to pull some nut grass from among the yellow iris encampment. (Encampment is the correct word since Louisiana iris in this climate is like an invading army in a forced march to conquer all the hostile natives and take over the yard.)
I laughed at what DH said and retorted with: "Yeah, don't bend over in the garden, you know them taters got eyes."
So that's the inspiration for today's contribution--funny titles.
The Sling Words Award for Best Humor Title goes to Lewis Grizzard.
Anyone remember Lewis Grizzard? (Yes, I call him by his first name because, even though we never met, I like to think we'd have been friends.)
Unfortunately, the talented humor author who was a long-time columnist for the Atlanta Journal and Constitution, died way too young. Lewis McDonald Grizzard Jr. was only 47 when he passed away in 1994. He was the label he coined: a SAWB. that's Smart Ass White Boy for those who don't know. Since I've pretty much been a SAWG all my life, I appreciated his humor immensely.
Lewis is often quoted, and these are some of his best lines:
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
"The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put rum or bourbon in it."
"Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes."
"If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi."
Here are the top Sling Word Award titles--though not all his titles.
1. Chili Dawgs Always Bark At Night
2. Don't Bend Over In The Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes
3. If I Ever Get Back To Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet To The Ground
4. Shoot Low, Boys--They're Ridin' Shetland Ponies
5. I Took A Lickin' And Kept On Tickin' (And Now I Believe In Miracles)
6. They Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat
7. If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low
8. Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself
9. My Daddy Was a Pistol and I'm a Son of a Gun
10. I Haven't Understood Anything Since 1962, and Other Nekkid Truths
Lewis Grizzard, gone, but not forgotten.