Happy U.S. Income Tax Day

Is your tax return ready to file? I mailed ours this past Saturday. That's always a pleasure/pain experience. Pleasure because it's finished for the year. Pain because, well, that's self-evident. No one likes paying taxes, but everyone likes to complain about it.

I don't mind paying my share because it means I actually made money! I DO mind politicians telling me that taxes won't increase when they do.

Joe Biden said: "No one making less than $250,000 under Barack Obama's plan will see one single penny of their tax raised, whether it's their capital gains tax, their income tax, investment tax, any tax." NOT true. Plus, that statement insults the intelligence of taxpayers. Since I normally refrain from political statements, I'll now return to entertaining you.

Tax Day Humor

Here's a baker's dozen of witty pronouncements concerning income tax. Enjoy!

"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta." ~ Dave Barry

"The taxpayer — that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination." ~ Ronald Reagan

"If the Lord loveth a cheerful giver, how he must hate the taxpayer!" ~ John Andrew Holmes

"The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax." ~ Albert Einstein

"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf." ~ Will Rogers

"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk

"Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?" ~ Peg Bracken

"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss." ~ Robert Heinlein

"Another difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time the legislature meets." ~ Robert Quillen

"Capital punishment: The income tax." ~ Jeff Hayes

"The wages of sin are death, but after they take the taxes out, it's more like a tired feeling, really." ~ Paula Poundstone

"People try to live within their income so they can afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income." ~ Robert Half

Takeaway Truth

Dear IRS, I am writing to you to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list. ~ Snoopy (Peanuts by Charles M. Schulz)