Remnants of Hurricane Alex are making for a wet start to the July 4th weekend so here's something funny to get you in a holiday mood.
Thanks to my pal Frank who sent this to me.
Baker's Dozen Of Jokes
1. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather - who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Author Unknown
2. Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin and keep away from children." Author Unknown
3. "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." Drew Carey
4. "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house." Jeff Foxworthy
5. "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base." Dave Barry
6. "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'" Conan O'Brien
7. "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" Richard Jeni
8. "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." Johnny Carson
9. "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." Paul Rodriguez
10. "My parents didn't want to move to Florida , but they turned sixty and that's the law." Jerry Seinfeld
11. "Bigamy is having one wife or husband too many. Monogamy is the same." Oscar Wilde
12. "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain
13. Do you know why they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was taken. Unknown, presumed deceased
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Good advice.