Thank You, Gloria Steinem et al
I grew up in the women's lib era when women were told we could do anything we wanted, be anyone we wanted. Since that already fit my world view, I embraced that.
Uh Oh
However, I discovered there were mitigating circumstances to that world view. The only place for women that didn't have a glass ceiling was housewifery and motherhood.
Cold Hard Truth
Want to be a lawyer, doctor, accountant, etc. and have a great career? Better figure out a plan that juggles those other things you want like a husband, children, a home, and leisure time to enjoy it all.
The truth is you can't have it all. No one can, including men, unless you inherited wealth. Men always made their careers the number one priority. For many, that was their idea of taking care of their families.
Unfortunately, that's why so many children of my genreation grew up not really knowing their fathers. He was a distant figure who earned the living but had little interaction in family life. His career was everything.
That may be an explanation of why so many men drop dead within a year or two after retiring. They no longer have a life.Those that don't drop dead are the ones who drive their wives crazy because they have no other interest in life and want to micromanage anything and everything.
I thought about all this when I was packing up my office to move. I have a box full of quotes I tore from calendars, newspapers, and magazines.
The wise words, or wild words if you prefer, are what women knew was the truth about "having it all." These women knew what they were talking about because they lived it.
Do you identify with any of these women? Surprisingly, most of them were born long before me. Back in the day, they were struggling to have more in their lives than the traditional roles for women.
"By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class." —Anne Morrow Lindbergh, aviator and author
"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, She doesn't have what it takes. They will say, Women don't have what it takes." —Clare Boothe Luce, former U.S. Diplomat
"Think bigger! Be a millionaire, don't marry one." —Nell Merlino, cofounder, Take Your Daughter to Work Day"People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute." —Rebecca West, British Author
Takeaway Truth
I count my blessings I married a man who has never tried to hold me back. Instead, he cheers me on. I wish all of you women the same kind of good fortune.
(Free Book App has been fixed. If it doesn't work, please let me know.)
I am fortunate that my husband supports my efforts. I have friends whose husband deliberately (or perhaps subconsciously) puts up roadblocks. Several have quit writing rather than have the constant battle. When my husband retired, he went through an adjustment period. He adjusted, though, and has done well as a retiree. We know others who survived only a short while after they retired--each man one whose identity was totally tied to his job. That's sad, isn't it?
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