You Might Live in Texas If

Jeff Foxworthy, famous for his "You might be a redneck" routine also does a comedy bit about folks from the Lone Star State.

Sometimes, like when I go to the small town near our house in the country, I think I get humorous material Mr. Foxworthy might like to have.

For instance, Jeff Foxworthy said, "If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you may live in Texas."

OMG! How true—and it applies to big stores in big cities and small stores in small towns.

Humor Comes From Life

We were buying groceries in the small store near our country house. I said to Darling Husband, "I wonder where the bread is."

A shopper pushing a cart past said, "It's in the far corner of the store just pass the ice cream. Unless you want bread like canned biscuits, and they're in the dairy case just pass the rack of high school tee shirts."

When I thanked her, she beamed and said, "You're welcome, dear."

Later, at the checkout stand, the cashier commented on our groceries. "What kind of lettuce is that?"

Me: "Romaine."

"I've never had that before. Is it any good?"

After I told her the attributes of romaine over iceberg, she and the high school girl bagging our groceries told us we should get the Butter Crunch Blue Bell Ice Cream because it was to die for. (I later discovered they were right.)

Yes, they still bag groceries there!

As we were leaving, she told us to try the baked potatoes stuffed with chopped brisket at the local barbeque joint because it too was to die for. She was absolutely correct.

The giant Idaho spud with BBQ brisket piled on the hot fluffy potato was mouth-watering delicious and large enough to feed 3 hungry people!

Weather in the Lone Star State

Jeff Foxworthy said, "If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas."

Yep. I've done that, and so have most Texans I know. Autumn weather is arriving as I write this. I'm wearing shorts and a long-sleeved tee shirt. I guess when you're accustomed to 90+ degree temperatures and high humidity, the brisk autumn breeze chills.

So long sleeves and shorts kind of balance each other. If it were cooler, I'd probably pull a sweat jacket on too.

Long Distances

I say if vacation means going on a car trip that lasts 6 to 8 hours or more, you may live in Texas.

We went to Midland last year. That's in far west Texas. We left in the morning and didn't arrive until evening. Never left Texas.

We measure distances in time, not in miles, and that's another aspect of living in Texas.

Jeff Foxworthy said, "If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas."

Guilty. You never know when you might need them for your own vehicle or someone else's.

Traveling takes time in Texas. The speed limit may be 55 mph, but most drivers assume that's a guideline to be followed if you see a police cruiser. 

If you go 55 on most highways, everyone else will be passing you as if you're standing still. Distances are so vast that some parts of the Interstates have speed limits set at 85.

Takeaway Truth

I like how Mr. Foxworthy ends his routine. "If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas."

(Or you want to. Just saying.)

Hang on to your Stetson as the fun and games begin in a sexy romantic comedy hotter than a bowl of Texas chili!

The Trouble With Love, a romance that's as big as Texas, is a Kindle Unlimited FREE read.

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