Funniest Book Titles

When I was working in the garden the other day, bending over with my behind in the air as I pulled the rebellious coastal Bermuda grass from the yellow iris bed I was trying to establish, I remembered the title of one of Lewis Grizzard's books: Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes.

I just about fell over laughing, right there in the middle of the yard. If you haven't read Grizzard, allow me to introduce you to him.

Died Too Soon

Unfortunately, the talented author who was a long-time columnist for the Atlanta Journal and Constitution died too young. Lewis McDonald Grizzard Jr. was only forty-seven when he passed away in 1994. He was the label he coined: a SAWB. That's Smart Ass White Boy for those who don't know.

Art of the One-Liner

Lewis is often quoted. Here are some of his best lines.

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."

"The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put rum or bourbon in it."

"Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes."

"If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi."

His Funniest Titles

These are all available on Kindle I believe. Here are what I think are his funniest book titles.

1. Chili Dawgs Always Bark At Night

2. Don't Bend Over In The Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes

3. If I Ever Get Back To Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet To The Ground

4. Shoot Low, Boys--They're Ridin' Shetland Ponies

5. I Took A Lickin' And Kept On Tickin' (And Now I Believe In Miracles)

6. They Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat

7. If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low

8. Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself

9. My Daddy Was a Pistol and I'm a Son of a Gun

10. I Haven't Understood Anything Since 1962, and Other Nekkid Truths

Takeaway Truth

Lewis Grizzard, gone, but not forgotten.