Women say the funniest things

Sling Words welcomes you to Trivial Thursday. A while back I posted some of the funny things comic Steven Wright says. Most women have a great sense of humor so today is ladies' day.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde. Dolly Parton

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. Erica Jong

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labour for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. Rita Rudner

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. Rita Rudner

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Erma Bombeck

If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. Sue Grafton

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. Elayne Boosler

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. Gloria Steinem

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. Zsa Zsa Gabor