Things I don't understand

The list of things I don't understand grows daily. Every morning when I make the mistake of reading my local newspaper The Houston Chronicle, I find myself echoing that great philosopher Cher who said: "Nothing surprises me any more, and everything surprises me." If you think about it, that statement really makes sense.

Social Security cards are available for $30.00 at a flea market on X Street (name changed to prevent everyone who already doesn't know about this from rushing over there and buying one). If this is common knowledge, why hasn't that guy been shut down?

Dr. Phil is lambasted for asking what was in it for him when he was asked to speak at the annual management meetings for Sam's Club and WalMart. Why are people upset to learn he is a businessman first and foremost? It seems his spate of bestselling books, television shows, and such would have made that apparent.

Houston's smog solution might be to plant more trees. Duh. One of the first things I learned in elementary science classes was that trees store carbon dioxide and release oxygen in their transpiration process.

Trouble came fast for lottery winners. A man and his estranged second wife won $34 million in the lottery and proceeded to "move on up" from trailer parks to individual mansions. Apparently, their drinking and drugging escalated because what they could afford increased from weekly paychecks to nearly unlimited funds. He died of alcoholism, and she died apparently of a drug overdose.

Patients are upset at doctor who reveals ingredients in $285.00 lice treatment is Cetaphil. Costs about nine bucks at the store. That's it. Spread it through the hair, use a hair dryer to dry it, comb it out. Another doctor who's a businessman who knows how to make a buck, huh?

Sling Words out.