Why Would Anyone Want Coyote Urine
Ah, how my life has changed since buying a house in the country. Once upon a time Saturday night was for going out and kicking up our heels. Now? Not so much. I spent last Saturday night online, shopping for the best price on coyote urine.
If you didn't read my blog last summer then you may be wondering why I'm buying and discussing such a gross product.
Simple. Another armadillo has made its home near our house and visits our yard every night in its never ending search for worms, grubs, and bugs to chow down on. Ah, the joys of country life. It's not enough that we have to put up with the skunk family that lives in the brush around an old dead oak across the highway, not to mention the occasional snake and field mouse that finds its way into the garage. I won't even get into the gophers that reproduce so fast that they put rabbits to shame.
I can handle those kinds of varmints, but an armadillo aka Nature's Destructor does exactly that -- destroys your yard. Those critters can even burrow under the concrete slab on which your house is built and undermine the foundation's integrity.
An armadillo is like the shark of the animal world. All it knows is eating. It digs holes and goes after bugs, grubs, and the like -- constantly digging and eating. It can dig holes every night that takes you hours to fill the next day.
There's very little that will stop it short of a 9 mm. bullet, but coyote urine seems to deter it and makes it move to a different area. Of course, the stuff is expensive plus you have to keep it "freshly applied" around your entire house foundation.
Good News/Bad News
Armadillos have very poor vision but enhanced smell receptors. The good news is that they don't like coyote urine, but then who does? Other than other coyotes. You see, coyotes are one of an armadillo's few predators. Even animals don't want anything to do with them. People have learned to leave them alone too. Some years ago, it was determined that armadillo's carry leprosy and were responsible for the spike in cases of that biblical disease in the southwest.
The bad news? Coyote urine works, but it smells awful, just like, well, like a pack of coyotes surrounded your house and had a you-know-what kind of contest. Just retrieving the box from the post office bin was enough to make me gag.
Write What You Know
So what has this got to do with writing or books? Writers write what they know. So how do I use this experience?
I can think of some comical ways like maybe the heroine of a story accidentally sprays her hero with coyote urine. That would cover the comedy part of romantic comedy, but there sure isn't much romance in going around smelling like a coyote urinal. I'll have to give this some more thought while I go sprinkle the urine into the holes the armadillo dug last night.
If you ever want to keep visitors away from your door, just sprinkle a teaspoon of coyote urine granules nearby. People will stand out on the street and yell to avoid ringing your doorbell.